And Eternity Passed

christianity expects people to exist with a degree of seriousness that envies a monks'.
in fact so does intellectualism, existentialism, socialism & the many other isms produced from the human society. of these existentialist being the base for all other isms, so, a worthier goal to choose from among the rest. to deal with its pointlessness is to unravel each an every mystery lying hidden under every other rock. Soon one becomes cupid dressed in flowing robes, with a silver sword forged in the depths of his soul & the commanding speech of wise oak trees, waltzing around the busy battlefields overturning dead rocks, only to find apsaras of truth wrapped in a delicacy of sublime skins revealing themselves to you in every moment of your quest.
During the journey, the worldly wise ask for the answers & you shake your head truthfully convinced about the inevitability of everything! and there, isolated from all that naiive hope we collect all through out our lives, we quietly expand & fill up the space that belongs to us & then some begin to pour out of their pores. some fill up the air with ditsy euphoria, some even grow branches. i became my own friend & my own foe. then i became tormented & obsessed by the very same things i was once passionately fascinated about.
i spent eternity locked in a kind of fiction. First, of the world, with liberating results & then with myself. the possibility of the fiction's self effacing quality revealed itself & that is where the sad note in the music began & all the apsaras dissapeared. blibbering blabbering cupid turned back into a chubby little cheerub & searched for his mama.

i shudder at the thought.

"professor, is the curiculum decided?"
"haan yes, i wanted to ask.."
"say.."
"the students will write a piece of different structures, sonnets, free verse, haikus..."

"irony! make them construct a statement of irony...
understanding the irony of things is a beautiful experience for anybody..."

pre-maturity

in a theatre.

they all watch the movie….faces of people intently watch the movie…white reflections from their blue faces.
We stop at a woman looking, who seems to get bored of wat she sees, fidgets a little, shifts a little , settles again & immediately gets up & walks backward towards the door.
We watch her leave from the outside as we move in closer to see the theater screen & whats on it, but the door shuts on us with a resounding thud.
She goes to the bathroom, looks into the mirror, looks at herself, from different angles.
The corner toilet door opens, out walks a boy…startled she looks at him (not in the mirror)…

not a boy she notices…

the girl with boyish short hair, a range of minuscule rings on her earlobes, checked shirt & a checked countenance walks towards the mirrors & washes her hands. Our lady looks for a second longer as if to make sure, then leans onto the counter, again in thought. The boy-lady looks up at her reflection & says, “how much did u lose?...”
“im sorry..?”
“Doctors told us that I had lost 37% at birth & the effects of such a loss would make me lose at least 17% more…..that too over a span of 32 years…”
“what do u mean?”

“did they not tell you??...n if they didn’t… didn’t you figure it out yourself? Boy-lady says this, checking her tongue piercing in the mirror. At this our lady turns her body to face boy-lady, with one hand still on the counter.
“Were u a post mature baby?”
The lady looks at boy-lady intensely, trying to figure out something & slowly answers “yesss….but how’d u know?”
Boy-lady shrugs with a quick one sided jab of a smile & leaves.